Loneliness
We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.
- C. S. Lewis
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
To feel disconnected, isolated or alienated even when surrounded by family or friends is a heavy burden. Yet, moments and even prolonged seasons of loneliness are part of our experience as image bearers in a fallen world. Our Savior, who was born in the likeness of men (Phil 2:7) and left the glories of heaven and the presence of His Father (Jn 17:5) experienced loneliness in a broken world overun by sin. In His kindness, He answers the problem of loneliness with the gift of relationship–with himself and with others and promises us that He will be with us until the end of the age (Mt 28:20).
Sometimes, our loneliness is quickly remedied and we are swiftly encouraged by Gospel truths, our fellowship with the Lord or friends and family. Other times, we may feel stuck in the mud of lonesomeness and not sure what to do.
This a quick-kit to help you in those moments. You can use it in your own moments of loneliness or to encourage a friend.
Scripture Passages for Encouragement
Psalm 139:7–12 (ESV)
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV)
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 62:5–8 (ESV)
5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Joshua 1:9 (ESV)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Hebrews 13:5 (ESV)
5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Psalm 68:5–6 (ESV)
5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation.
6 God settles the solitary in a home;
he leads out the prisoners to prosperity,
but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)
17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
2 Timothy 4:16–18 (ESV)
16 At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
John 16:32–33 (ESV)
32 Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. 33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 73:25–26 (ESV)
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV)
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 62:5–8 (ESV)
5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Joshua 1:9 (ESV)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Hebrews 13:5 (ESV)
5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Psalm 68:5–6 (ESV)
5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation.
6 God settles the solitary in a home;
he leads out the prisoners to prosperity,
but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)
17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
2 Timothy 4:16–18 (ESV)
16 At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
John 16:32–33 (ESV)
32 Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. 33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 73:25–26 (ESV)
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Practical Tips
With the Word
- Memorize Deuteronomy 31:6 (or another passage from the list above). Write it on a card and post it in your car, on a mirror or as the background on your phone.
- God uses metaphors throughout the Old Testament to describe his presence, strength and help. Do a word search for the words: rock, refuge, strong tower, high tower, fortress, throughout the OT. The Psalms are a good place to start.
- Look for others who may be alone and encourage them, open the Bible with them, pray with them, serve them and spend time with them.
- Take an extended break away from social media, and intentionally plan to spend time in fellowship and service with others. Make a note on your phone or in a journal of any you notice in yourself over the course of a week(s) or month(s). Turn any encouraging notes into prayers of thanks and praise.
Some Encouraging Reads and Listens
Posted in Encouragement Guides